Well They Are Going to Be Quotes from No Exit
Teen girl to girl friend: Hey, when are we getting our matching tattoos?Guy friend to another: She's so serious.–Duane Reade
View ArticleLet Me Guess– You Don't Understand It?
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.Woman: Oh, really..?Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)–Inwood Dog ParkOverheard by:...
View ArticleSounds Like a Hipster to Us.
Guy in khakis, watching hipster: I'm totally more of a hipster than her.Friend: No, you're not.Guy in khakis: I am! You don't know what I'm like outside. I just turn it off for work. I've got a ton of...
View ArticleMuch Like Our Friendship.
Guy #1: I would never get a tattoo that big. Guy #2: But it's of a quote that means a lot to me. Guy #1: Maybe so, but it's permanent. Guy #2: Well, not anymore… Guy #1: Okay, true. But it's permanent...
View ArticleWhat’s Cooler Than Star Trek? (Besides Everything)
HS Girl: That’s all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body. HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool. –4 Train Overheard by: Kaitlen
View ArticleThey Met at the USPS
Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.” –Post Office, Bensonhurst
View Article“…And then she took my shanks away!”
Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that! –D train
View ArticleYou’re Jimmy Carter???
Guy: What does that tattoo say? Chick: *Sigh* I promised myself I’d never get a tattoo unless I had a kid. Then I got a dog. It says Roxy. That’s her name. Now I have to explain to everyone how I’m the...
View ArticleStraightlines without Punchlines
Man: This guy who works at the library is thinking of spending $1600 and getting the Star Trek emblem tattooed on his chest. –Library Bar
View ArticleStraightlines without Punchlines
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin. –22nd & Park Ave South Overheard by: Matt Law
View ArticleYou and That Skin Infection Were Meant for Each Other
Lady: So, are you giving them gifts this year?Fat woman with afro: Ugh, I just spent 300 dollars on my tattoo. I can’t afford it.Lady: Oh, really? Fat woman with afro: You know, in Amsterdam tattoos...
View ArticlePlus, They Cooked Their Own
Middle aged man: I feel as though methamphetamines don't destroy your mind so much as ruin your body and make you cover it in tattoos. It's not like they were on heroin.Companion, nodding his head:...
View ArticleThe Black Flag is at Half-mast
Guy #1: You do such dumb shit. Guy #2: I do not. Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg? Guy #2: I’m hardcore! –1 train Chick: Sell-out by day… Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the...
View ArticleIn Some Cases, They Skip the Tattoo Part
Little girl: Is that a tattoo?Woman: Yeah.Little girl: People die from those, you know.Woman: From tattoos?Little girl: Yes. They get tattoos. Then they get cancer. And then they die.–2nd & A
View ArticleEyeliner Tattooing? Definitely.
Girl: She got it for her grandfather.Guy: He ain't gonna like that.Girl: You don't know him.Guy: All I'm sayin' is unless she wins the lotto, she's never gonna be anything but middle class.Girl: She...
View ArticleYou Can't Say the Catholic Church Isn't Trying
Meathead Yankees fan #1: Hey, did you know I got a tattoo? (shows friend tattoo)Meathead Yankees fan #2: No, man! When did you get it?Meathead Yankees fan #1: A while ago. I was actually on my way to...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Are Asstastic
Chubby girl on cell: Hello?! I’m getting a tattoo! What I need to know is: right butt cheek or left butt cheek?–Elevator, Sulzberger Hall, Barnard CollegeLady in cubicle on phone about daughter: She...
View ArticleI'm Gonna Marry That Girl Someday
Four-year-old-boy: And there was a girl. And she had rainbow hair, and rainbow clothes, and a tattoo that was a rainbow, and rainbow socks.Mother: What about her?Four-year-old-boy: She picked her...
View ArticleHow Sodomy is Regulated in West Virginia
Slutty girl: I think someone should have a tattoo over their asshole that says ‘Do Not Enter.’Friend: I nominate you.–Fulton & Water StOverheard by: Anon
View ArticleWhat If I Get a Long Identifying Number on My Forearm?
Guy: So you don’t think neck tattoos are sexy?Girl: No.Guy: What do they make you think of?Girl: Prison.Guy: What if I get my name in Hebrew?Girl: Jewish prison.–10th & Ave BOverheard by: Trying...
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